Sunday, September 30, 2012

Under The Bridge.

Back in 2001 up until 2007ish I was depressed.  Sad and lonely.  Tired and broke.  I hated the world and fought for the demise of everyone around me.  I looked at you like you were the enemy and had no passion or desire to feel good- to be better- to Live.

I could have went down into a burning ring of fire where the depths of darkness surround the soul and crush the hardest of the giants among us. My soul was crushing my bones and forcing shallow- hard to come by- breaths. My blood was dying and my mind was melting.  I was a loser.

It was all in my mind and I let myself live a hard horrible depressed life where one second I could have snapped out of it and changed my entire world- but I knew not how. Or I didn't care.  I let myself become a waste in society with no balls or bearings.  Disgusting. Useless.  Immoral.

So why now am I preaching power of thought, mental toughness, exercise, diet, hard work, positive intentions and doing more so than ever to become great and live life to the fullest? I lived a hard life.  Not as hard as others but it sucked the life out of me.  I was foolish and an embarrassment to my family. It hurts still to think about the hurt I caused so many people when then- I cared not.  I don't want others to fall into that ring of fire and settle for less. We are all capable of anything we choose. I went from a broke, useless, homeless, and uneducated peon to the beginning stages of leadership, a business owner, a dedicated person to life, a family man, a soon to be father and caring husband.  I have darkness inside but I control it and become more.  Through reading- writing- running and lifting- teaching and motivating and internal suppression.

Everything's changed.  I am no longer living in the shadows of useless person, a menace to society.  I changed.  I evolved- like we all should.  I have no regrets or hard feelings.  At that time- I loved it.  I loved doing the things I was doing and therefore I could never hold regrets.  I had good times and good friends and  a hidden knowledge burning to explode onto the scene of improvement.  It's amazing how much change one can go through when they WANT it.  I was pushed and begged to change and improve.  I ignored the preaching sermons of family and friends and walked through hell until I saw enough.

I'll never truly remember the day I decided enough is enough but it could be a good friend lying to me about cops or the nights under a bridge fishing for my food. What happened after that was sort of a miracle.  My life changed and then- little did I know- everything was on it's way to goodness.

I share my story with you because I want people to see how a life can change quickly and nothing is as bad as it seems.  One minute you could be dreading life pleading to the gods to take you away and the next- you are ready to rock your way to the halls of success and enlightenment. My past has molded me into a good man.  A humble, dedicated, passionate family man who wants nothing but the best for friends, family, and success. I would do it all over again because the experience taught me so much.  I want to thank everyone who has ever helped me improve and take the next step on my journey.  It may have seemed like I was ignoring you and distancing myself from your words- but we now know- it sunk it.  Thank you won't ever be enough.  I am forever grateful and satisfied to call you friends and family.

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