Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Last "diet" You Will Ever Need...

I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist so I have no right or legal ground to be telling you what to eat.  You CHOOSE to read my OPINION on what to eat.  It is not may fault if you drop dead of a heart attack or grow a third boob.  This is what I would do if I was you.  You give up any right in suing me or whatever the hell tickles your toes by reading this.  Have fun and good luck.


Every book, magazine, website article, blog, whatever has some kind of latest diet advice or macronutrient ratio to follow.  Most of it is bullshit when they try to sell something to you.  This is NOT always the case but most of the time, it's all just too hard to follow or it doesn't give you enough room to enjoy food.  That is why I decided to write this blog for you to try. I try to stick with organic and free range foods as much as possible, I understand some people can't do this.. so what.. that's okay.. BUT there are some rules:


Rule # 1- I must exercise 4-6 hours a week and I am NOT afraid to lift weights.  The more- the better results I'll get.


Rule #2- I must exercise 4-6 hours a week and I am NOT afraid to lift weights. The more- the better results I'll get.


Rule #3- I will try not to drink my drink of choice until after my meal.


Rule #4- I take this as opinion and not a prescription.


Rule #5- I must exercise 4-6 hours a week and I will lift some fucking weights. The more- the better results I'll get.


Rule #6- I will avoid as much processed or GMO'd food as possible.


Rule #7- I will dedicate one meal per week to whatever the F**K I want as long as I exercise 4-6 hours a week. 


Rule #8 which should be Rules 1-8: I WILL STICK WITH THE PLAN FOR ONE YEAR AND NOT QUIT.  MY RESULTS DEPEND ON MY LIFESTYLE CHANGE AND I DO NOT BELIEVE IN QUICK FIXES. I WANT TO BECOME AWESOME SO I WILL DO AWESOME THINGS AND USE MY FOOD AS FUEL.

Ok, ready?

Breakfast:
4 whole eggs
1 cup Broccoli or Veggie of choice
1 handful Almonds/Peanuts/Cashews/Whatever Nut chosen
Now if it's a Saturday or Sunday, even a day off, treat yourself to BACON.  Cut the nuts out and eat 4-6 slices of bacon.  Near identical calories as the nuts and the Fats in Bacon, will not kill you.

** OK you don't have time to grab food and get out of the house because YOU CHOOSE not to wake up early enough.  This takes dedication and you should get your ass up early and find something to eat.  Go ahead and grab a handful of nuts and call it "breakfast" if you're running late, It won't kill you.  Just add some more Protein to lunch or grab a Whey shake for a snack later with a piece of fruit.**

Snack (can be skipped if not "hungry" and used as dessert)
1 piece of fruit

Lunch
1 handful of lettuce.  Two won't kill, nor will three. Neither will the dressing if reasonable (2 TBSP)
**IF you don't like Salads and lettuce DON'T eat it. Not going to kill you if you skip it**
1 veggie of choice in lettuce
1 handful whatever nut added into lettuce *Now be reasonable with this*
4-8oz Protein (Chicken, Salmon, Beef, Buffalo, Turkey, Ham, Venison, ETC)

**Here is lunch and your boss told you to meet them at Applebee's, what do you do?  Easy- you follow the god damn plan!  Get a plain salad, with olive oil, an egg or two, and some GRILLED chicken, grilled fish, or steak strips. You want about a fist size of meat.  Any extra, wrap it up or leave it...  If your waiter, waitress, or dining place of choice won't make you this- go into the back, grab the chef and kick his/her ass... you train 4-6 hours a week and eat real food (not like a bird) you should be able to..**

Snack (Can be skipped if not "hungry" and used as dessert or added to your lunch.)
1 piece of fruit

Dinner
2-5 handfuls of lettuce (2 TBSP dressing)
1 Veggie of choice in lettuce
1 handful whatever nut added into lettuce *Again- You're feeding Rhode Island and NOT Asia.*
6-12oz Protein (Chicken, Salmon, Beef, Buffalo, Turkey, Ham, Venison, ETC)
1 **SERVING** (Meaning whatever a serving size of whatever chosen is) of Rice or Potato.

**This dinner is easily replaced with whatever chosen to eat at a restaurant (in a reasonable manner) if you choose to go to eat. That means an entree only.  No side dishes, apps, breadsticks, salads, sodas, etc...Also cook your meat on a grill!** 

Dessert
If you skipped the "Snacks" and want the fruit for dessert go ahead and add a reasonable portion of whipped cream and enjoy..

Follow this, with healthy, fresh, organic foods for 6 MONTHS AT LEAST and you'll be a different person. This is roughly a 2,000 calorie diet.  I chose to make the plan based around 2,000 calories because women and men should never go below that, I don't understand any need to.  If you eat 2,000 calories and get your "SMART" exercise in you will have a great body and be a healthy person.  Food is first and ALWAYS fuel.  It is not for comfort or passing time and remember that you are small, you're not some giant.  If you feel hungry after eating this I do not know what to tell you.  Drink more water or stop watching TV with Doritos commercials making you think you are.  If you want to build muscle add a carb (Rice, Potato, or some starchy carb) at every meal and drink some good Milk. You are NOT a pigeon, you are a fit female or a strong male, this is not too much food- it's a healthy amount.  Now, go be awesome.  Push a prowler, lift a barbell, and worry about becoming better everyday at everything you do.


"Food doesn't make you fat, that's a skinny jeans fuckfack."- Jim Wendler




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